Amir's Choice

Warning: This next chapter in the story of "Cavegirl Claire" is pretty intense. If you wish to skip it, go to the third paragraph with the words "Now if..." below.

Amir has just made the decision that the tribe should follow the herd when one of Claire’s younger sons attracts his attention. The boy’s eyes are wide and he has been running hard. Amir knew Claire, his former partner, was close to labor, but the immediacy of the event has slipped his mind; replacing Jerome as the tribe’s leader has kept Amir very busy. He quickly follows the boy back to Claire’s campsite. When he enters the cave, he understands why the boy’s face looks so worried. The baby is coming out feet first. Amir first looks at Greta (who is assisting with the birth) and then at Claire. He had not laid eyes on the mother of his two older sons in the last few weeks, but he knows what she was thinking. He asks Liko, Claire’s current partner, to take their two young boys outside and stay with them. The man hesitates but does what he was told. Amir takes three steps toward Greta and her helper and stops. He notices the baby is a girl. He then changes course and positions himself near Claire’s head. She is up on all fours, but Amir calmly and firmly turns her so she is lying on her back. He kneels behind her head, and Claire is now looking down at Greta and her baby. Amir is not sure how long the lower part of the baby has been outside of Claire’s body, so he knows he has to act fast. Claire is groaning and screaming in pain, but her eyes seem aware of what was happening. She is focused on her baby. 
Amir remembers the other time Claire had had this trouble with a birth. It was during the time that he and Claire were partners and Jerome was their leader. Claire was younger then, and Jerome had made the decision to save Claire instead of the baby...and it was the only other time Claire had made a girl. That baby had not been struggling as it came out, so Claire was not given help until the child was dead and could be removed without harming Claire. But the current situation is much different: Claire is older, this baby is clearly fighting for its life, and the tribe needs to move at sunrise. Amir only briefly considers the recovery time Claire might require vs. handing this new baby off to another new mother in the tribe before he makes his decision. He puts his hands on Claire’s shoulders, utters the word “girl” in her ear, and quickly and forcefully breaks Claire’s neck. This baby is the priority. It had been Claire’s priority. And it is a better choice for the tribe.

The thunderous sound of despair that leaves Amir’s throat tells everything. Everyone who has gathered outside the cave begins to either scream or cry. Liko rushes back into the cave to confirm what has happened. Greta and her assistant are now struggling with the tools that will pry Claire’s pelvis apart. Liko's immediate goal becomes helping his daughter who is struggling to breathe. He helps Greta and her assistant with the tools. There is a loud pop and the baby is finally free. Only then does Liko let his guard down. His partner is dead, and he is in shock, but he knows somewhere in his being that Amir has made the right choice.


Now if you are NOT the proud owner of an antisocial personality, one of three things just happened: 1) You read the warning about this part of Claire’s story and ignored it. Then you read the story, now feel sad or upset, but accept that you had control of your decision to read it or not. 2) You read the warning, ignored it, and now want to blame me for "making" you read the story. (It wasn't me. It was your Fear of Missing Out - FOMO) or 3) You skipped the story and are now losing interest in this blog-post because you are not in a state of discomfort like others might be. Try not to follow the urge to go back and read it. (You should actually feel proud for trusting the warning and saving yourself some grief!) Most people would call your probable feeling of discomfort “empathy.” We don't like to imagine people in pain. We also don't like the thought of people we care about being sick or injured. That's because of our species' collective past experience with death. We witnessed traumatic events like Claire's demise every day for thousands of years as we evolved as humans, and even though we have not had personal experience with our own death, most of us—as modern, living, breathing individuals—do not want to die. And that fact can affect our daily lives in unexpected ways.

One way our fear of death is demonstrated is how overly concerned many of us are with our own health. Designer prescription drugs (for folks with expendable incomes) can fix any little thing that worries us. If we have yellow toenails, that's fixable. If we have dry eyes, that's fixable. If we have a bent penis, that's fixable. We have a chance to be perfectly healthy almost all of the time, and some of us have made that our goal—even if being healthy comes with side effects that make us uncomfortable. We want to be as healthy as possible, no matter what. In fact, some of us silly “Westerners” have the tools that allow us to be conveniently obsessed with our health. Those of us with fit-bits can count our steps. Those of us with smart watches record our heart-rates. And those who can afford higher-end health trackers are able to keep tabs on both of those things plus our amount and quality of sleep AND get personalized recommendations sent to us about when we should go to bed every night. As a result, a few of us no longer need to pay attention to our own bodies. And what a relief that is!

Thank goodness for technology: Human beings are wrong a lot. They are not totally dependable. For some modern people, a human's body is not perfect so it deserves to be ignored. So even when it comes to knowing what we need physically as individuals, we are starting to not trust ourselves. Technology knows best. It does not make as many mistakes. And technology is also responsive. If we are feeling bad, we want to know why NOW. And if someone we care about is feeling sick or in pain, we want them to feel better NOW. And because of modern medicine and other tools, we believe we can easily optimize our health. But health is being confused with perfection.

Perfection can become the ultimate goal not only with how we feel, but also with how we look. If we can't actually be perfectly healthy, we can at least look like we are. Now it's true that some beauty regimes get popular because famous people make them seem glamorous, like having thicker eyelashes or wearing a certain cologne. But I am talking about the “basics”; Reducing grey hair, having wrinkles lessened, whitening our teeth, or having body parts enlarged or reduced. Yes, some of these things are done for medical reasons, but some of it is done to attain as close to perfection as possible. And if we look good, we feel good.

Some researchers will also tell you that we are trying to be perfect because of our biological pasts. That we are trying to look healthy so we do not seem weak to other humans and therefore deserve respect. But I think this idea is a bunch of bullshit. During the time our psychologies were evolving tens of thousands of years ago, we all looked like hot messes. Our modern attempts at perfection are based on mostly unattainable cultural goals, not biology. And these goals of perfection are being held in front of us by production companies in the form of polished entertainers and even by our own friends on Facebook and Instagram. It's all an illusion, and we typical modern humans are falling for it. Many of us are willing to deceive our loved ones, take powerful drugs we oftentimes don’t need, or relinquish our self-awareness in the name of perfection. Perhaps at some level, we think that if we are perfect, we can at least slow the process of ending up like Claire. The unknown of death is scary. And for a group of isolated humans like Amir's tribe, so is life without Claire. But Claire's tribe will be alright…mostly because they have Amir and Greta to lead them.

Listen to this soundtrack for Amir’s Choice

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5BhIIGIPT0wa0xPTzaPYKw?si=UeFoTBlJT0iN8US4RAohWQ

References

Abramson, A. (2020). Our Brains are Stuck in the Stone Age. Elemental Medium, Online. https://elemental.medium.com/our-brains-are-stuck-in-the-stone-age-13bb5d2aea36

Alex, B. (2020). When did Ancient Humans begin to Understand Death? Discovery, Online. https://www.discovermagazine.com/planet-earth/when-did-ancient-humans-begin-to-understand-death?utm_source=dsctwitter&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=dsctwitter

Lisle, D.J. & Goldhamer, D.C. (2003). The Pleasure Trap: Mastering the Hidden Force that Undermines Health and Happiness. Healthy Living Publications, Tennessee.

Mercier, H. & Sperber, D. (2017). The Enigma of Reason. Harvard University Press.

Sloman, S. & Fernbach, P. (2017). The Knowledge Illusion: Why We Never Think Alone. Riverhead Books, New York.

Solomon, S., Greenberg, J. & Pyszczynski, T. (2015). The Worm at the Core: On the Role of Death in Life. Random House, New York.

Wilson, D.S. (2019). What all theories of social evolution share in common. The Evolution Institute, Online. https://evolution-institute.org/what-all-theories-of-social-evolution-share-in-common/

Wroth, C. (2019). A Good Life and a Good Death: What is Palliative Care? NPR Shots (online), Your Health. https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2019/04/25/717095214/a-good-life-and-a-good-death-what-is-palliative-care

© 2020 Penny Fie. All rights reserved.