Claire's Anatomy
There was a formal study conducted from 2005-2008 that asked people to list 3 words describing what a leader had positively contributed to their lives. The top answers were trust, compassion, stability and hope. Since the study had been completed for business purposes, the researchers were surprised by the results. They had expected words like vision, purpose and wisdom to top the list, but what people seem to appreciate most is a stronger emotional commitment from their leaders. Why is this? And where does this "need" for emotional availability come from? Well, if you ask me—and you didn't—I would say the answer is based in our Paleolithic past.
There is a part of me that observes the world the way a cavedweller might have. I call this part "Cavegirl Claire." Claire's story started about 70,000 years ago in a tribe lead by a cavedweller called Jerome. Jerome was a fair and confident leader, but he was not the only person with important responsibilities in Claire's tribe. Claire's current mate Amir also held some authority: he told stories about hunting and shared new words around the campfires (so he was basically in charge of communications and morale.) Another cavedweller Jerome trusted was called Greta. She knew a lot about the things that the gatherers collected. She tinkered with combinations of berries and herbs that seemed to ease people's stomachs or help with pain. She experimented with ways of mending the bones that the hunters broke when they were out hunting or exploring. Greta was always trying to make other people more comfortable or heal them so they would not be abandoned by the tribe if they were injured or sick. But Claire was fairly new to this particular tribe, and she found Greta to be sort of strange. Greta was cranky when she was trying to figure out something new, and non-responsive when she was lost in thought. Jerome, however, had compassion for Greta’s mood swings because he knew she ultimately had the group's best interest in mind. And since Jerome had been Claire's advocate when she first joined this tribe, Claire trusted him with her life. So if Jerome was OK with Greta having some extra authority, then Claire was too. She did not think twice about it. Even though trust was something that needed to be earned and then maintained between individual cavedwellers, Claire knew her place. She went with the flow and did what the group did. She was following a very important and very powerful instinct.
Jerome, Amir, and Greta made a great team, but they were not magic. For instance, they could not provide stability to Claire’s tribe. Cavedwellers had very little control over their environments, but what cavedwellers could depend on was each other. For much of our species’ history, we had a single purpose—foraging and then sharing food. In fulfilling this purpose, we stuck close together. In many ways, we shared one mind. We had to be coordinated so we could survive. (And this inter-dependability was “easier” for a group of around 100 dwellers.) Claire’s tribe did not have stability in the modern sense, but what they could provide to one another was predictability. Everyone knew what everyone else was good at. Simple, basic, physical reactions to the environment and to each other helped with the goal of finding food, and only a few words, phrases or gestures were probably necessary to complete redundant tasks. Then, thanks to storytellers like Amir, the complexity of human communication gradually increased over time…and so did a tribe’s efficiency.
With more words we could learn from each other faster. More time was spent telling how to do something rather than showing, and that helped Claire’s tribe conserve precious energy. They were most likely close to starving between successful hunting expeditions, so any chance to save effort also saved lives. And I imagine that, with the single purpose of collecting food and sharing it with each other, Claire’s tribe found hope pretty easily too. With Jerome as leader, Amir as communicator/motivator and Greta as healer, this tribe was not as afraid as other tribes. From Claire’s perspective, there was always another berry bush to discover or animal to slaughter, and since she was part of a unified and coordinated group, there was very little stopping her tribe’s success.
So Claire’s having direct access to a small group of devoted leaders sounds pretty great to me. Aside from battling starvation and uncertain death on a daily basis, I am starting to wonder if Claire had it better than I do. She did get 3 out the 4 things people want most from a leader, and her leaders could barely talk! But Claire went along with the crowd, and I don’t have to. I can think for myself. I get to vote! So what if Claire and I were to swap places, and she were transported to the present and I to the past? Is the “modern” way of choosing a leader better?
Our swap would be a tricky adjustment for each of us. Claire’s cavedweller habit of looking to her peers for feedback about a leader would not work because there are way too many people in a modern world for her to look to. She could do what I do and just pay attention to those who share a similar political outlook, but I don’t think labels like conservative or liberal would make any sense to her. She could learn to use the internet and look up information about potential leaders, but that info could be filtered to create a specific message and might not be accurate. There are ”experts” like journalists who could tell her about her options for leader, but it seems that lately, they are writing for either one political side or the other (so they have a dependable following/income.) I could warn her about all the out-groups (people she should not trust), but I think that would have complicated her experience further. It would appear that anywhere “Modern Claire” looks for advice on what leader to choose, she is met with questionable feedback. And the chances of meeting face-to-face with a potential leader are very low.
Meanwhile, back in the savanna, I am having a tough time too…but not in relation to my leaders. I see and interact with my leaders every day. Because of how few people there are in a cavegirl’s life, there are only a few cavedwellers like Jerome, Amir, and Greta who have titles, and a loose hierarchy organizes everyone else. Everyone knows what they are supposed to do, and they know what their options are if what they normally do is not needed. They are also prepared to back-up other dwellers if they need help. Categories of people are not set in stone: Yes there are hunters and gatherers, but sometimes hunters gather and sometimes gatherers hunt. And although we experience a desperate or aggressive tribe once in a while, most of the time the only “out-groups” are things that could eat us. Jerome and the others are very concerned for my well-being. I feel pretty important. At an emotional level, I feel safe. Now if only I could find somewhere that serves coffee…
Back to present day—and here is my take-away from my trip back in time: Modern humans are desperate for predictability. And because we have become so accustomed to efficiency, we are expecting a single leader to provide us with everything we need. But all-in-one leaders do not exist. They never have. The modern expectation that one person should provide us with trust, compassion, stability and hope is unrealistic. Claire got what she needed from her tribe, not from her leader. As voters, we need to be aware of this. We can choose leaders who are willing to share power. “Us vs them” is easier—even instinctual—especially when we are worried or scared. Sometimes it is media messages that put us in this state. Other times it is a specific leader who does. But feeling worried or scared should be a signal that we are being manipulated. Our bodies can still guide us. And there don’t have to be out-groups: Pro-this means anti-that and visa versa. It's misleading, sometimes polarizing, and always over-simplified. Quick categorizations of non-binary concepts like conservative or liberal are inaccurate. Many of us know this, but we still succumb to labeling anyway. We want the end result now. We want to know how to react to something or someone in the future, and in our attempts to create predictability, we are totally over-doing it. We are over-categorizing. Life is not binary. Yes or no. Black or white. The truth is somewhere in the middle. We just need to get brave and go there. Often.
(Pre-covid rant:) Since what leader we choose today no longer directly decides our survival like it did for Cavegirl Claire, voting can seem trivial—but it's not. Leaders dictate an attitude or tone for their followers at an automatic, biological level. We still defer to experts such as leaders, but we are unaware we are doing it. We need to realize that we don't need to react as quickly to our environments as Claire had to. We need to become conscious of our reactions to fear-inducing messages after they happen. We are not under physical attack (usually). We are not in mortal danger (most of the time). We are simply reading or listening to a message. And we can ask ourselves: Is a potential leader attempting to be overly efficient and offering a quick fix? Is a leader saying s/he can do the things they are promising all by themselves? Do a leader’s goals create out-groups? We also need to be aware that we have a habit of using in-groups for “protection” and step outside of them. Talk to a stranger, or even a person you know has different political beliefs than you do. The common ground is right under your feet. And now that we know what manipulative behavior "feels" like, it might not seem so powerful . . . but we must also remember that manipulative behavior is often unintentional. Reality is not one extreme or the other. Binary is easy. It's “modern.” It's convenient. And when we apply it to actual living breathing people, it's stupid. We need to accept a little mystery in life, even from other people. We need to venture outside of our isolated, polarized environments and practice compromise. We can find middle ground, but first we must venture into the grey.
Listen to this soundtrack for Claire’s Anatomy
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/67UKTEkwzFjQJASgxdL4d5?si=FaQKdr3WR9a-jwWsaxwvhQ
References
Baer, M (2017). When Binary Thinking is Involved, Polarization Follows. Psychology Today, Empathy and Relationships. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/empathy-and-relationships/201701/when-binary-thinking-is-involved-polarization-follows
Gladwell, M. (2002). The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference. Little, Brown and Company, New York.
Gorman, S.E. & Gorman, J.M. (2017). Denying to the Grave: Why We Ignore the Facts that Will Save Us. Oxford University Press.
Harmon, M.J. (2018). Patriotism of a Different Kind. The Evolution Institute, Online. https://evolution-institute.org/patriotism-of-a-different-kind/
Jarrett, C. (2017). Can Evolutionary Psychology and Personality Theory Explain Trump's Popular Appeal? Research Digest, The British Psychological Society. https://digest.bps.org.uk/2017/11/09/can-evolutionary-psychology-and-personality-theory-explain-trumps-popular-appeal/
Koenig, S. (2017). How Social Media Exploits Our Moral Emotions.
Nautilus. http://nautil.us/blog/how-social-media-exploits-our-moral-emotions
Mercier, H. & Sperber, D. (2017). The Enigma of Reason. Harvard University Press.
Rath, T. & Conchie, B. (2008). Strengths Based Leadership: Great Leaders, Teams, and Why People Follow. Gallup Press, New York
Sloman, S. & Fernbach, P. (2017). The Knowledge Illusion: Why We Never Think Alone. Riverhead Books, New York.
Tooby, J. (2017). What scientific term or concept ought to more widely known? Edge, Online. https://www.edge.org/response-detail/27168
Wilson, D.S. (2019). What all theories of social evolutiuon share in common. The Evolution Institute, Online. https://evolution-institute.org/what-all-theories-of-social-evolution-share-in-common/
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